I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving! And of course, if you’re reading this later on, that life is treating you well in general 🙂
SO. I went home for the first time this past weekend. I have not slept in my Belleville bed for the last 2 months, and I cannot explain to you how familiar/weird that was for me. I got all choked up when I opened my front door and my mama was sitting in the chair as per usual, just waiting for me. It felt so good to be back where my roots are. I enjoyed an amazing two days with my family and some friends, and it was just enough of a kick for me to feel grounded again. Being surrounded by the people who made me who I am was fulfilling and restorative to my confidence (to say the least).
When I was in Belleville, I kept thinking about how different it was to go home now that I didn’t really live there – there were towels laid out for me instead of me taking my blue one off the towel rack. When my mom asked me if I had seen something she lost, I had no idea where to start looking. I visited my old workplace and didn’t know half of the employees. I even went to the local mall with my sister and the stores had changed and swapped around. Life back home didn’t stop when I went away…not that I had expected it to.
Then I thought about my life, and the way my routine had drastically changed. When I came back to my vanilla-scented dorm in the city, I was greeted with a bunch of to-do’s and a super reflective attitude. While I love living on my own and having more responsibilities, I also realized that being a ‘grown-up’ must have seemed much more glamorous to me as a child.
Now, I have to do my own dishes and laundry and keep my room straight. I did all of these things at home, but now they seem like bigger tasks, and since no one is calling me out on not having done them, I have a tendency to put them off…DON’T WORRY, I never get so desperate as to run out of clean underwear 😉 I have learned that procrastinating with housework is the LAST thing I should ever do…but I forget that sometimes.
I am the one who decides if I’ll go to bed at a reasonable hour, if I’ll meet up with friends, and if I’ll party on a Monday (I do not recommend this to anyone, Tuesday will kick you in the behind). I am the only one being held accountable for my behaviour, and I’m also the one who needs to deal with the consequences – good OR bad.
I’m learning to speak in financial terms when I go to the bank, and how to not be embarrassed when calling a customer service helpline. I fill out paperwork with a different phone number, and am totally free to eat candy for breakfast (it happened one Sunday, don’t judge me…).
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I thought I knew what I was getting into…and I was sort of right. I was as prepared as I could have been, but all change takes adjustment and it’s naive of anyone to overlook that fact. Change is inevitable, change is healthy. Change is exciting, adventurous, intimidating, and unknown.
Change is one hell of a ride, but I can tell you right now that you’ll love it – with bumps along the road and all.
Much love and DFTBA,