Well friends, take cover: Valentine’s Day is upon us.
‘Tis the season for over-priced chocolate, newly-released rom-coms and declarations of adoration for lovers, friends, and family..also Netflix and cats.
After fumbling around for the majority of my dateable years, it turns out this is the first Valentine’s of my entire life that I am in a committed relationship. (You can all gasp now, trust me – I’m as shocked as you are).
But this hallowed 14th of février, I shan’t be writing a letter to my weirdo. Frankly, it’s too mushy of a gesture even for me, and if I want my non-celebrating man to stick around I should probably avoid professing my love for him on the internet.
Instead, I’ll be writing a lil’ note to someone who actually doesn’t get a lot of my affection.
In the spirit of the #GLAmour challenge, I’ll be writing a valentine to myself. Oh sweet baby Jesus, here goes nothing…
Let’s start this off by admitting that writing this is hella awkward. You are your own toughest critic and to give yourself props in cyberspace is just bass-ackwards and belly up for you.
I mean seriously though, you don’t toot your own horn very much…anymore.
When did that change? When did you start becoming cynical and self-doubting? When did your insecurities start to present themselves in self-deprecating humour? How did those jokes become entrenched in your repertoire, when did you snuggle into them like a second skin and get real damn comfortable with ’em? Was it because you realized if you told the joke, then the world would be laughing with you, rather than at you?
I mean sure, you do talk a lot. When you’re nervous, it’s total word vomit. And you can often find lots of distractions before getting a task done, if you’re determined enough 😉 . You’ve been to a gym 3 times, and since 3 times is the charm you’ve vowed to never go back. You’re incredibly messy in your own spaces. You don’t get the top grades anymore, and you seem to be muddling through the forest of life without a map. And you NEVER seem to remember to add an extra 10 minutes to the Google Maps estimate anyways, so really, you’re damned if you do or damned if you don’t.
But all these quirky faults aside, if you don’t love yourself, who will? At the end of the day, you’re stuck with you. Might as well snuggle up with that reality, and give yourself some credit.
For starters, you’re an upstanding citizen. You pay your bills, abide by the law, and engage in the community by volunteering your time and resources. Tick off those boxes, girlfriend!
You’re a kind person. You’ll happily hold doors for people, give them directions, or help them carry awkward and heavy loads. You’ll always donate to the street musician, and share a smile with strangers…even if eye contact is scoffed at in the big city…
You’re a good friend. You are honest and generous in your relationships. “What’s mine is yours.” is extended to everyone you meet. You are loyal beyond measure, and feel so fulfilled when lifting others up.
You love your family. They may get under your skin sometimes, but there is nothing you wouldn’t do to support them or bring a smile to your face. They are a huge part of your identity, and you of theirs. Keep them close!
You are emotional in the very best of ways. You love hard, and want to hug people tight enough that their sorrows and joys become your own. You are a nurturer, a provider, always gentle, yet intensely reliable. You feel things deeply – the highs and lows, and those core emotions drive you forward every day. THAT IS SO AWESOME!
You are smart. Intelligence isn’t solely determined by a test, so don’t get too down on yourself if you don’t come out on top. You are a problem-solver, a communicator, an innovator. Do not sell that brain of yours short!
You have talents. Even when your confidence is shaky, you ultimately have some awesome gifts. You can ski like a boss and climb like a spider monkey. You are an expressive musician with an ability to share emotions in ways many others can’t. You are a hilarious and entertaining tour guide, helping create memories for hundreds of people every year. You cook awesome food, so your friends and family never go hungry. You’re a weird dancer, but hey – always good for a laugh at parties! Oh and people are still reading this blog, so your writing must not be awful!
Truth be told, you’ve been going through a lot. Life has thrown you some curveballs in many areas of your life. But you crack jokes to ease the tension and worry of those around you, and plug on because this is your reality, and you will not let these challenges paralyze you. That is admirable – now work hard and plug on, champ!
Above all, you are hopeful. Optimistic, and yet reasonably realistic about your future. Even when your days are less than sunny, you get up and face the days. You have goals and dreams, and have made quite the impact in your 21 years. Your intentions are good and your integrity is top-notch. You have ambitions to be a voice for those who cannot speak for themselves, and have dedicated much of your life to doing so already!
Kiera, you are learning to care for yourself and listen closely to your intuition. Start being mindful of the ways you define yourself, and don’t be afraid to talk yourself up sometimes! You will turn the stumbles into dancing and become more resilient every day. Stop stressing about the blunders in the past, and for goodness’ sake don’t fret over blunders yet to come. All anyone can ask of you is your best – so remain present in your life and give it all you’ve got! You’ve got this.
All things told, I’m pretty damn proud to be you.
With love and brutal honesty,